Safety VI
by Jadzia
Summary: Sequel to Safety V


Fandom: XF Pairing: M/K (ie SLASH) Rating: PG-13 

Archive: Please ask me first. 

Feedback: I'll love you for it. gdukat@geocities.com 

Homepage: The Safety-Series can be found at http://members.theglobe.com/RatboyX 

Disclaimer: *sigh* I borrowed them from CC. 

Author's Notes: I think this is just the right moment to thank Blue for her constant encouragement. *Big kiss, babe!* 

Big hugs to Aries and Deb for great beta. 

******************* 

SAFETY VI 

by Jadzia 

******************* 

Warm. 

Nice. 

Don't move. 

Don't wake him up. 

I wish I could have this. Something like this. 

To come home to. 

Not every day. 

I mean, I'm a spy, not a salesman, right? 

But every few weeks. 

Or so. 

Have something it's worth surviving for. 

A man like this, who's there, waiting. 

Yeah, right. 

*A man like this.* 

Who are you fooling here, Alex? 

Him. 

These eyes, this smile. 

Him. 

Adorable when he's sulking, beautiful when he's concentrating, irresistible when he's happy - no one else but him. 

I entangle myself from him a little to be able to look at him. 

His hair falls into his eyes and I have to fight the sudden urge to smooth it back. 

Why? 

Why fight? 

He's asleep. 

Next to me. 

I don't mean if that means trust or stupidity, Fox - and in this case, stupidity might be the smarter choice, because trusting *me* would be really dumb, I think. 

You're everything but stupid. 

Nevertheless you're lying sound asleep next to the man who murdered your father. 

One tentative smooth, and I feel his hair between my fingers. 

Feels like a sacrilege, touching him like this without his knowledge. 

Feels like silk and velvet. 

And very much like heaven. 

I know I will never forget this. 

Never. 

And that's good. 

Because it means I can go on. 

You know, when you end up in real bad situations - and I mean real bad, bad like starving in a silo - then you need something to hold on to. 

Something hidden deep inside yourself. 

A closet where you go only when you really, *really* need to in order not to go insane. 

I used to have very little inside there. 

Mostly the last time I'd seen him. 

His eyes on me, questioning, not hating. My fingers brushing his cheek. Long before, my lips at the same spot. 

Now - 

now I'm full of him. 

His eyes, changing from this deep dark green to almost blue when he's concentrating on me. 

His hands, making me tingle. 

His smell, embracing me like his arms did. 

His hair, warm and soft between my fingers. 

His smile. 

Him, sleeping next to me, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 

I can live now. 

Maybe I'll even be able to see him again. 

Sometime, when they stop haunting me. 

Sometime. 

I'll be okay as long as I know that he's safe. 

And the first condition to be safe is not to be with me. 

But I won't forget him. 

Never. 

I cuddle close to him for one last time. 

I can feel him with every fiber of my being, and I savor every second of this, surpressing a shudder as his arms tighten around me. His legs lie warm next to mine, his breath in my hair, the little tickle as his chest-hair brushes my cheek. 

I turn my head and kiss him softly where my cheek lay just before. 

A faint trace of his taste surges through me, and, oh God, this is almost good enough to stay. 

Almost. 

If I was safe for him. 

But I'm not, I'll probably never be. 

Stand up, get your clothes. 

Your arm. 

Your gun. 

********* End Part1 ********* 

********* Part2 ********* 

He'll be angry. 

He came chasing after me and I leave him without a word. 

He'll be furious. 

Good I guess. 

Shit, I love your eyes looking at me like they did yesterday. 

Like I'm human somewhere. 

But if I have to take the daggers to keep you away from me, I'll take them. 

I want to stay. 

I can't tell you, but there's nothing I've ever wanted more. 

Stay and make it right. 

No, I'm not going to cry. 

No way. 

It's my job. 

I can do it. 

I'm a big boy. 

A big boy in love, maybe, but I can do it. 

I have to. 

Keep him safe and *go*. 

"Where do you think you're going, Krycek?" 

Trust you to wake up at that very moment. 

I should've known better. 

And I know this tone. 

Sounds like punch-time. 

"Hey!" 

No rhetorical question, then. 

I can't see the daggers because my shoes are really interesting at the moment. 

And somehow I can't lie. 

"They'll come after me. I don't want them to get you." I tell my shoes. 

C'mon, a last yell and I can go. 

Your toes appear in front of me. 

"Don't, Alex. Please don't." 

Shit, Fox. 

Don't do this. 

I'm suddenly glued to the ground. 

I like your toes. 

"You really want to leave?" Almost too soft to hear. 

I nod. 

You bet. 

I want you alive. 

My world shifts as you cup my face in your hands and lift me into your eyes. 

Blue. 

Green. 

I don't know. 

"Give it a try. Please. I know we can work it out." 

It blurs. 

Caught by your voice, mesmerized by your eyes. 

Eyes burning again. 

I must look like an idiot. 

"Look at yourself, you're exhausted. You're terribly thin. You're in no condition to get away from them. Say something, please..." 

Can't. 

Wait. 

"I'll make it." I croak, and I see immediately that you won't have it. 

"So this is about me?" Finally, you got it. 

I nod again. 

Your eyes close briefly as your hands slide back a little, cupping my neck, your thumbs stroking my cheeks. 

I can't *think* with your hands on me like that. 

Maybe you know that. 

"You don't have to protect me, Alex. Not now. I know you did before, but now it's time to switch jobs, don't you think?" 

I blink slowly. "It's not that easy. I left traces -" I try. 

"But I won't. We have protection, highest standard. I *know* they won't get us if we work together. We can make it. I know we're too good for them combined, Alex." 

I almost smile at that. 

You make it sound so easy, and I want to believe you, I really want to - I shake my head. 

You sigh. 

Which doesn't mean you give up. 

Of course not. 

Fox Mulder, an answer to everything. 

"We could make a deal. You come with me and you stay until you're better. You can leave then, I won't make you stay. I swear." 

Do you know how you look with that pleading sulk? 

"Please, Alex. You're too tired. You need some time. You know I'd follow you if you left now, and I'm not in best shape either. Don't fight me on that, *please.*" 

You really care, don't you? 

I don't know why you do, but it makes this...this happy bubble form down in my stomach, and I can't remember the last time I felt like this. 

You try to make surrender easy. 

Apparently you don't know I surrendered to you a long time ago. 

How do you *do* this, dammit? 

"Where?" I manage, and you look relieved. 

"Canada. A cabin in the mountains. It was built for this, it's perfect." 

I almost smile, again. "Who knows about this?" 

It's pretty difficult to think with his hands still on my neck. 

But I try. 

"The Lone Gunmen. I'll have to call a few people to ensure full protection-" 

"No. No one else." 

"Okay." 

You really want me in this, don't you? 

This sounds actually...reasonable. 

I take a step back, out of your hands. Gets me a confused glance. 

"Sorry. Have to think." I mutter. 

You smile. 

I melt. 

I start pacing and thinking. 

He's right, I need some time. 

Gain weight. 

Catch up on sleep - deprivation. 

"What's with supplies?" I ask, turning back into his intense gaze. 

"Everything's there. Enough for a few months." 

"Clothes?" 

"We can buy some on the way." 

"They'll miss you at work." I play out my last argument. 

"I'm on vacation. Had ten weeks left." 

"They let you take your entire vacation? Without further proof of your sanity?" 

God, that smile. 

I feel myself smiling back, and he nearly beams at me. 

How should I ever leave you again? 

I sober up a little. "We have to leave soon." 

You don't stop smiling. "Give me a minute," and you dress in record time. 

I try not to think too hard while I wait, but I know you were fast, I wasn't that lazy, I should have about two weeks out of immediate danger. 

And I want to. 

I want to spend this time with you, maybe it's the only time we'll ever have. 

He's ready. 

I don't look back, as we leave. 

Together. 

******************* THE END ******************* by Jadzia, 20./21. 02. 99 


End file.
